Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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A black man and a white man get married... Trick question, since gay marriage is illegal in the United States, the men did not get married, and they later both died alone.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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If you die laughting, How are you telling this to me?

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Verbal assault; because battering someone to death with a dictionary has never been so much fun. [L]

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Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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