A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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a father listens to his son while he was on the computer. he heard "BABBY BABBY OHHHHH" and busted in He was releaved to find him masterbating to porn because he thought it was Justin Beiber

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How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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