How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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Why are cats mammals? Because they are descended from primordial mammals in the distant past which are the common ancestors of all mammals.

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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What's 100 times worse that finding an worm in your Apple listening to Justin B. Sing! :-)

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

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melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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People who do not realize the concept of this website, and write real jokes on it.

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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if you write treehouse backwards it spells gullible.

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Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? Where's my farmer??????

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Houlocaust. What's worse than the Houlocaust? Nothing, the Haulocaust was one of the most horrible instances of inhumanity in recorded history.

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Well many scientists have theorized that a giant meteor hit the earth causing the extinction of most living things. Also if your christian : Dinosaurs never existed, evolution is the devils work, science is not the answer to the world's problems. Darwin was a foolish man, and thats that.

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Why are birds purple? because it fits the sky why are bats purple? bats aren't purple

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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Do you know why this joke isn't funny. It's punchline is bad.

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What do you call a man with no penis? WOahMan! O_o

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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