Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your big dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What colour is a black man in a freezer black

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops