What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Why does Garrett have a small penis? He is not old enough to buy extenze.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

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How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

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Whats worst than the holocaust? What? 6million Jews.

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Your mom is so stupid... She was unable to go to college and therefore was not able to find a good job.

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the awkward moment when you kill everyone in school and blame it on the fat kid

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Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

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whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

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Humpty the extreme sized grenade fell off the wall. The universe is now in little pathetic bits.

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two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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What do you call an African American woman with Tourettes? This question cannot be answered correctly. The African American woman was misdiagnosed. She is really a crack whore.

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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