What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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Why can't you tell jokes in Base 8? Because 7, 10, 11

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo Don't worry I'll be there too! Not in the cage But laughing at you! ??

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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What is the difference between a goat? It can neither ride a bike.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

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What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why is Chuck Norris so frickin awesome? He just is cause he's chuck norris

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regoereiorgiorehgijreirehrfjirgjirejgruirehgrghehiiehaoiwpo;lkswpokewqoifgoieqjgiubtfoewfiir K.O

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops