How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

K O O K A B U R R A . . . . . . . . . . ReTweet

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I walked in ony my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Ok everyone, you know that kid that after his joke he'll put louis on the bottom because that's his name? He sucks at joke telling and if you see any of his jokes, DISLIKE THEM!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

girls basketball

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the black man say to the Hispanic? Lovely weather we're having.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

WILLY

thumb_up thumb_down -28

my wife came out of the kitchen....

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's one plus one? two.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? Spray paint it blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why did the woman commit suicide? because 2+2=4

thumb_up thumb_down -28

oooooooooooooo yeah write there thats the spot what i was talking about my car

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops