Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

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Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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why did logan cross the road? to get raped by his father again

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? ...

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

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What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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