How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

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You ask your friend if they want to hear a joke when they say yes tell them that thought you had a joke

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

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Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

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What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

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Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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