Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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I like school Said no one ever.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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Whats brown and sticky? A Stick.

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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Anti Jokes = Drained

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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what's black and can't swim? a black refrigerator

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Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

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How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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