What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man died. What was his name? Phil. His name was Phil.

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

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Why did the car stop To buy drugs

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

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What is the difference between a snail and whale? A loaf of bread

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69, Is funny because the numbers are backwards

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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