What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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swag

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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What do you calla baby nailed to a wall? Art.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops