Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

Q. What did the father say to his son? A. Nothing, he just hit him with his belt. His wife tried to intervene, but she too was hit by said belt.

Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

I'm Coming

If you are riding uphill in a canoe and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to fit in the dog house? None. Ice cream has no bones.

What's worse that getting raped by a frog? That would never occur, as frogs do not have genitalia to commit rape.

Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...