What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

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A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

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why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

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12 niqqa 12.

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what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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What did the black person say to the white person I'm black your white

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Forget about them, do not compare yourself to those beneath you, you always wanted to help as many as possible, in a world where everyone fights for themselves only.

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his village.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops