A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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Why did the money due? Because it fell out of the tree

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a guy fell off a roof of a mansion he died his family cried F.Y.I i have Alzheimers toilet monster

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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Joke- Blah Blah Blah, punch line -LOL -Shut the hell up

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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roy g biv

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops