What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

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A: What is faster than a speeding bullet? B: Light

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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yo mommas so ugly that as a child she was often teased for her looks.

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops