Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

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Why couldn't the young african american read? He was born blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

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what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why did Hitler hate Jews? Because he use to get bulied by them when he was in high school.

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Probably nothing as the social economy of the black race has been low in 2011 and hasn't raised by a penny in 2012.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops