A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

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What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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How do you stop your golf ball from hitting a goose? You dont.

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

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Why was the leaf green? Chlorophyll

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A White guy, Black guy and Hispanic are all on the same bus. They get off at their predetermined stops and continue their day.

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roses are red violets are blue the thing in the toilet reminds me of you :)

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

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Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

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A priest a rabbi and the dalai lama walk into a bar. They decided to order the hotwings...... Why do u care??? : )

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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the waterhorse is a beautiful creature. It often frolics through fields of wheat.

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "I'm Japanese". The guy at the counter says "What a coincidence! I am Japanese too." He gets seated and the guy next to him says, "I'm Japanese too." The bar is in Japan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops