Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

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What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

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Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

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hi michael

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What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

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A guy walks into a bar. After only 10 minutes, he leaves. The bar closes in 10 minutes.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

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An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

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Who wants water? I do.

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dyslexic's Untie

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What's the difference between a black girl and a white girl? Nipple color

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42

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two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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what is a bracket? a bracket

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What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A.One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a human.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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Robert Mugabe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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