A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Not Suzy!!

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Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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Why did the faggot cross the road? Because he was a faggot.

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Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

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What do you call a computer running Windows DOS? Obselete

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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Justin with a hat.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a whore.

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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What does it take to play in the WNBA? Nothing....

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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Want to hear a joke? Obama

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How did the blond become a pilot? By attending flight school, graduating, applying to an airline to which she subsequently was hired to, taking frequent training courses, and beginning work.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. It's an average bar. However these men don't drink. The priest ordered some onion rings, the minister fries and the rabbi poutine. They're good friends despite their different religious views.

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WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops