Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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an elephant is like a guy but its nose is the di**

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the black man get his mom for Mother's Day? Some jewelry and a very nice card.

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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I cant find my anti-jokes this is also one

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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