Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

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A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

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Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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A White guy, Black guy and Hispanic are all on the same bus. They get off at their predetermined stops and continue their day.

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What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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