How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because Acl tear stepped on a spit.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

wanna hear a joke? womans rights

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

thumb_up thumb_down +26

FUS RO DAH!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock, Knock! Go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops