How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats the diffrence 2 gay people and 1 gay person? A 1 person diffrence

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops