Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binaryy and those who dont.

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knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

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What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

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A chicken , a dog and a horse walked into a bar. There were going to the vets but were confused.

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What's long hard and black A drain pipe

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What do you call the Flintstones if they were black? N****rs

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How come Asian's are so clever? Their baby food is blended textbook paste.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

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If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son, your mother and I once had those problems but we got through it.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

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What did the deaf person see? He was blind too, so he didn't see anything.

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What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

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Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Whats Brown and fluffy ASIAN TITS

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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