Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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