How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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Albert <3 Hunter

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A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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What is the different on a black guy and a bicycle ? The black guy steals the bicycle, but the bicycle dont steal the black guy. Yes, my bike got stolen ...

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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