3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops