james schmitt whats your last name

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

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What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

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So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

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This site is hilarious oh wait...

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Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

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Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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