Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

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I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What's worse than breaking your arm? Not having any arms.

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Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

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What happened when Susie fell off the Ferris Wheel? There was an open seat.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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all these jokes are horrible now

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Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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