Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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