How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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what did the boy with cancer want for christmas? a gun

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whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

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What is an antijoke? Not Knock

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What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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Throughout her entire pregnancy Sheniqua smoked, drank, and did many narcotic drugs such as heroin and cocaine. Why did she lose her baby before coming to term? Because I strangled her to death for being black.

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a blind man walks into a wall

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hello i hav a growing interes in math and arithmetic especially when it involves pi if u are still reading this you either didnt realize that this was a joke or just didnt care but most likely it means that the first line interested or bored u and u wanted to find out wut the rest was u like????

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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

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What's worse than having a mouth full of molars? A pole through your chest.

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Bee1:Boo Bee2:Boo Look i found 2 boobies:)

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What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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