Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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what just happened when chuck norris falling from the sky..? Starts making a wish

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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2 guys walk into a bar but the third one has known about what happens to the third guy but since he is reading this in a newspaper and his unaware of his surroundings he walks into the bar anyway and feels very foolish.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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If you go to America, you won't see any fat black people. They're all dead and in prison.

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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do you like hardcore music? ya i love brokencyde

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anus

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

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Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

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During a boxing match, a white man faces an Asian. The Asian loses. Next the white man faces a Mexican. The Mexican also loses. Now the white man faces a black man. "Aw screw it!"

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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My friends told me they found a dead women....they said they pissed on her........that was my mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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