Why was the broom late? Cause he overSWEPT!!! ahahahahahaha!

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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What is worse than writing a really terrible joke on anti-joke.com? Death.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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Q: Why is Alzheimer not funny? A: To get to the other side.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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the lemon was sweet.

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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