Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Knock, Knock Who's There

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what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

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Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

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how did the little black boy cross the river? he walked over the bridge.

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Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

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Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

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Please ignore this statement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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