What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

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A russian gives away vodka.

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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A white man, hispanic man, and a black man walk into a bar together. They order cokes.

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Whats sorer than stubbing your toe? Stubbing your toe twice

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A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

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Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Praise Paisley

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

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What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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kieran is a homosexual

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i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock knock. I've got a gun. Knock kn [*BANG!*] [L]

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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