Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

How do u say hi to a black person JUST SAY HI RACIST

jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

what falls from the sky, is white, and can kill you a refrigerator

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

Why was the little boys mom watching tv in the living room? Better question why is she out of the kitchen.

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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