Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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