TIMMY

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What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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Why did the little girl cry? She lives in Haiti.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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No

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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12 niqqa 12.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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