Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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How many People does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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I wife my butt after I poop. I poop out of my penis.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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Why did Billy run away from a mysterious adult? He was playing the iconic game known as tag where 2+ people chase each other in an attempt to tag them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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