Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happens when you fire a machine gun clip into a jew? You are convicted on first degree murder, and most likely sentenced to jail because you can't afford a good lawyer. Orange jumpsuits are uncomfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

who is gay wit mon james cornish

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

thumb_up thumb_down +26

how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops