Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Jimmy fell in mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jimmy took a bath with Bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a clown.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

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What stops a train? A missile

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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i like turtles

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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So a man walks into a bar... ouch

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops