why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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69.

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breasts

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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A man walks into a bar. It's a fine establishment. He orders a couple of beers and takes a cab home like a responsible man would. He is then killed with a croquet mallet.

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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