A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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Women's rights

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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