What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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whats funny about this joke? nothing.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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what is the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? you take your shoes off before you jump on the trampoline.

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How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

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A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. They never got their answer, because god doesn't exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken saw some potential food across the street.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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Why did the man cross the road? To get to the homeless shelter.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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I am tying up hostages. - Ethan R. 2015

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops