What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

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Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

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A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

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Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops