- Anti Joke

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

Donald Trump decided to run for President.

Barack Obama.

Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

Knock-knock jokes with sjws: Knock knock! Who's there? A transgender! A transgender who? WOW. It's 2016, people. If you can't recognize a transgender, you're a disgusting piece of cis white male scum! OH! OHH! "I'm sorry lady"? Do I LOOK like a lady to you? I'm a- no- sir- stop interrupting me. SIR! I identify as a gender fluid demisexual! "What does that matter?" Oh my god. Well it wouldn't matter if I identified as a goddamn piece of salami to you would it??? Huh? I'm confusing you? WOW! What a priveleged- oh! So I'M being rude? OKAY! FINE! I'm recording this you know. You're going ALL over the Internet. Oh yes you are! No, hey, my privilege cam! You just took it this is rape! You are assaulting me! Don't just shove it back into my hands like that! I call patriarchy! Oh no, I'm not done with you! Don't you close that door you Goddamn piece of sh- slam

How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

What did the American man say to his brother right before his brother's wedding? You should not get married because most likely your marriage will end in a horrible divorice, which will ruin the rest of your pathetic life.

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

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Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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