Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

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"Hey baby, how much?" "$2.99 each or 2 for $5.00, Steve." "Thanks Baby, I'll take 2."

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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what did the indian boy say to his friend? I wish you were real

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

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How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

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What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot... are you racist?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He grew tired of hearing the most over-used joke set up in recorded history.

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What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

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why did benny go to the 4th grade school nurse? he had a massive erection.

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Bro: Aww Dawg! What if they tell me I got da aids? Dawg!: Hey don worry bro, you gotta BE POSITIVE

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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