Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

What type of jobs do black people have? That depends entirely on their qualifications and suitability to the relevant role.

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

A wise man once said, "I am wise".

when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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