Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

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Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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A jew was walking down the street what did he see? the holocaust

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

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what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

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What do I hate? people

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

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What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

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Why is my penis rainbow colored?

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An escalade with 5 black men crashes off a cliff and all of them die. this is terrible. an escalade seats 7.

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

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How do you stop a bus? You don't, and Regina George didn't either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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