How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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Lololol

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

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"Tell me a joke" Tom says Your life.

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you see theres this guy.

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A Hispanic, a Caucasian, and an African American walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

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Why was Timmy sore? He'd been playing with his cornhole along with his friends all day!

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What do u call 2 black people in the front of a car 3 in the back and 2 on top of the car going off a clif? A waste u can fit 2 more in the trunk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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Some potential names for Justin Beiber's next album: Headache Wailing and Screaming Eardrum Rapist Anger Half Price Indescribable Out of Print April Fools The Sounds of Hell Torture Ear Basher

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Why did Timmy start a fire? Because Timmy was a derranged phycopath

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops