Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

Your Mom is so fat she's Fat

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

* two sisters are making yo mama jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

A Serbian Film

what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

When life gives you AIDS! Make lemonAIDS!

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

an ethopian thanksgiving

Communism hehe xd

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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