Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

roses are gay s is justin beber s are u justen beber eats crap

Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

Q: What did Jenna Jameson say when she heard hard banging near the front door? A: Come inside

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was sexually abusive.

The schoolboy said to the bus driver, this is my stop the bus driver replied "no, we have a while to go yet"

What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To give to his wife to cut up for his family to have at a picnic

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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